This is definitely a first,

Ben left for New York for work on Saturday around noon, and he’ll be coming back home on Wednesday.  

There have been a few times where I’ve gone up to my cabin and he’s stayed in the cities, but I’ve never been the one to stay home while he went away.  

All I can say is “holy hell, I love Ben more than I honestly thought I ever did.”

It’s hard to imagine how much you need someone in your life before you’re suddenly without them for the first time.  I noticed that I tend to micromanage my time while he is away and compulsively clean, work on things and stay productive to pass the time.  

Last night I tried watching a movie and drinking a beer, only to find myself cleaning the vents on our AC window unit with of q-tips and vinegar, all while the movie went unwatched, and the un-opened beer dripped condensation all over the table.

Sleeping is also a thing.  Having the whole bed to myself is weirdly foreign to me, and I still stay on my side.  I also have a stupidly vivid imagination, so the slightest noise always ends up being a serial killer who wants to torture our cats and then me in my mind.  

What this all boils down to is the fact that it’s actually kind of scary, albeit jarring experience to wrap my head around how much I NEED Ben in my life. 

All I’m hoping is that he comes home safe and sound on Wednesday, and my snuggles will be SO DAMN INTENSE. 

Good lord, it’s going to be 90 degrees out by 5:00 tonight.  

But here’s to living in the 12th coolest state in the U.S.!  
Hooray marriage equality!

Random!

So you know how, for example, when you get a new car, you suddenly start seeing more and more of the same car while out driving?  

Well, that’s how it’s been lately with people asking if Ben and I plan on having kids.  

Literally ONE person asks us, and then all of the sudden, another person asks us, then another (My favorite one came from a very drunk girl at the bar last night who said “Do you have kids?” and when we said “No” she quickly replied “DON’T. SERIOUSLY DON’T.” Ha.) and then my sister is sending me tumblrs about “Pregnant Dads” and then suddenly I’m seeing PREGNANT WOMEN EVERYWHERE.

The answer is a solid NO. 

Now, I have nothing against pregnancy (unless it’s your 14th pregnancy or something, ish) or kids, (as long as they’re not the by-product of horrible parents.) But Ben and I are ridiculously impulsive and adding a kid into the mix is just unfair to all parties involved.

The best piece of advice about choosing to have/not have kids that I have ever gotten, came from my lovely Mother-in-Law.  And it goes as follows:

“If you decide to have kids, they are the GREATEST thing(s) to ever happen to you.  If you decide to NEVER have kids, your spouse is the GREATEST thing to ever happen to you.” 

I don’t feel like if I never had kids that I would be missing out on anything in particular either.  I didn’t get married because I HAD TO GET MARRIED to fill a weird void in my life (which is kind of what seems like is more common nowadays), so I don’t feel obligated to have kids either.  And it’s strange, because I come from a large family.  Nature would say that I’d want to pop babies out to crate my own farmhands, but that’s not so, especially in this world we live in. 

So that’s my two cents on that, and if another person asks if we’re going to have kids, I’m just going to laugh. 

M